Tick tock....

So my doctor said that before I could schedule my next appointment and make a solid new game plan that both my husband and I needed to get more blood work and I needed to get an ultrasound. DH got his blood work and I got my ultrasound (transvag...YAY....NOT). So now I'm just waiting to get my blood work done, which has to be done on day 3 of my cycle. That's a little over two weeks away. Hopefully once I get that done I won't have to wait too long to be able to be seen. I hate it when you can only get an appointment a month out. Come on father time and pass on by!

Here I go again!

Okay, I know that I'm putting the cart before the horse because I haven't gotten complete confirmation that we're going to be doing an IUI (the doc just said that is most likely what we'll be doing), but I like to know everything as soon as possible and I like to over think and over worry. So this post if for the ladies that have done everything before me... What do you think of IUI's? What was the experience like for you? What can I expect? What's the prep and procedure like? I know my doctor will explain all of this when we get to it, but I would like to here it from you guys.

appointment

Well... I'm not pregnant. I had a really hard time with it. I thought for sure that I was and allowed myself to get excited. AF came and I had a really difficult few days. Now I'm back on track and re-focused.

Today I met with the new infertility doc. I like her and the appointment went well. Unfortunately I have to back track a little bit and she wants to repeat my labs that I did with the last doctor and do another ultrasound. I HATE transvaginal ultrasounds! Oh well, it's necessary and worth it in the end. She also said that (pending my lab results) we will most likely be doing high dose clomid with an IUI. Before this appointment I pretty much knew that my only other option was going to be IUI or IVF. I was nervous about this because my insurance doesn't cover it and I thought it was going to be way too expensive for us to be able to afford. Thank the Lord IUI's will only cost us $110 per session. That's still a lot of money, but at least it is manageable and not in the thousands like IVF. So now I just need to wait for my next cycle so I can do the blood work.

I don't know what to think

I'm down in the dumps. I was so sure and so positive that this was going to be the month that I got pregnant. I've even been having a lot of pregnancy symptoms. My husband made me POAS last week and again a few days ago. I told him that it was definitely too early for that, but he figured if I was having symptoms then it should turn positive even if it's too early. Silly man. However, this morning should have been enough time and it was still a BFN. I don't understand! AF is FOUR days late and I really feel like I'm pregnant, but the tests all say negative. I'm so bummed. I've had a really tough time with it today. I cried out to God and poured my heart out to Him. I know that things are all in His timing and according to His will, but why can't that be now? Am I doing something wrong? Why if I want something so badly, and it hurts me so badly to not have it, does God not want that for me as well? I know this is something all of us struggle with and I know that tomorrow will be a better day.