I have this heavy pit in my chest and a sadness that is always with me. I wish that it would go away, but it won't. I think about the baby every second of the day. When I'm reading Corbe.n his stories I'm thinking about the baby at the same time. When I carry on conversations, my mind is really somewhere else. I went about a week without talking to anyone at all because I didn't know how I was supposed to be. I didn't want to talk about the baby because I couldn't handle it, but I didn't want to not talk about the baby either because I don't want to act like it meant nothing by carrying on talking about regular things. I'm full of so much regret and longing for something that is not possible for me to have back. I'm sure many people can't comprehend being so sad about losing a baby that I never even had the chance to know... that I only carried inside me for 7 weeks, but I loved that baby immensely from the very beginning and I just want my child back. I know that I need to move on because I can't change what happened and I can't live in grief forever. I just don't know how to make this sadness go away.
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4 comments:
I don't understand your grief,
But I am so,so, sorry.
It doesn't matter if you carried the
Baby for 7 weeks or 2, 38 weeks
That was your baby of course you are upset about the loss ..
So I am terribly sorry.
I know nothing I say will make you feel better just know you are in my
Thoughts and prayers.. Keep your head up.
Thank you so much. It really means so much to me.
Oh my goodness :( I've been absent in the blogging world so I didn't even know that you were pregnant. I am so, so sorry. I'm no stranger to miscarriages and they are never easy- no matter how far along you are.
I'll keep you in my prayers.
Thank you very much Jess.
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