Sorry I'm just now updating. We just got the internet hooked up in our new place. I got the call Monday that my hcg level went from 864 to 70 in just 3 days. They did say that it's extremely odd that my level dropped that quickly, especially since I hardly bled and I never saw the baby come out. They want me to get it rechecked in a week to see if it continued to go down or back up. They've seen it happen where levels have dramatically dropped and then started to go back up. I however don't want the false hope. I don't feel pregnant anymore and my pregnancy tests went from extremely dark lines to now just a extremely faint positive. I'll test again in a few days, but I firmly believe it's just the Lord being merciful and returning my levels to normal quicker than usual.
I'm extremely heartbroken. I think about the baby every second of everyday. I have such a hard time falling asleep at night with thoughts of the baby running through my mind. It's at night that I'm most reminded of my loss. The baby put me to sleep at 9:30 every night. It was impossible for me to stay up any later and I fell asleep immediately. Not having that exhausted feeling makes me so sad. We already had names picked out and started making lists of things we needed to get. We had hopes and dreams and so much excitement. I'm just so sad. I never would have imagined that this would have happened. I want my baby back. I wish I knew why this happened. It just doesn't seem real.
7 comments:
I'm so very sorry for your loss :'( I've been praying for you and I will continue to do so.
Jennifer, I'm so sorry. I've been thinking about you the last few days and hoping and praying for the best. I can't even imagine what you're going through right now. I will continue to pray for you that you will find some peace of mind during this painful time.
I'm heartbroken for your loss..
I'm so sorry that happened..
Try and stay strong..
I know that its easier said that done..
I'm truly ,very sorry for you.
my heart is broken for you guys. I wish I could give you a big hug. There arent any words I can say to make you feel better, just remember that God is holding your family in the palm of His hand. HE knows. Hang in there mama, rely on Him.
I'm so sorry for your loss, friend. I can only imagine the heart-ache you're experiencing. I echo what Becky said above, that I realize there are no right words..just know I am thinking of you and praying for God's peace to cover you and your family during this difficult time.
Oh sweetie, I am so so sorry. You are in my prayers. (((lots of hugs)))
_kristin from our growing garden
I'm so sorry. Maybe my hormones are just out of whack but I'm crying for you right now.
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