Looking Back
Next week I will be checking something off of my to-do list that has been hanging out there for years and I will be taking a concealed handgun class. As I was filling out the state application I needed to verify some dates and where better to look than the ol' blog. In doing so I got side tracked reading some of my early posts. It was pretty emotional and took me back to those days of pain and uncertainty when I didn't know if I would ever have a baby. I wanted to be able to tell my old self "Don't worry and don't be sad, you will be holding your sweet son in a year". I imagine that's how God feels when we're hurting and he knows that things will be better soon. It was also fun to see how much I've grown as a person since that time. Well... it wasn't so much fun to see how much my body has grown since then heehee. Man I used to be a skinny little hotty. It's all part of having those beautiful babies though and that is definitely worth it.
Happy Halloween!
This Halloween was so much fun. I love that Cor.ben is at the age where he gets joy out of experiencing things. I wasn't sure how he would like trick or treating because he still gets shy from time to time. Luckily he loved it! He thought it was so cool getting to go up to people, say "trick or treat" and put candy in his Elmo bucket. Of course Quinn had a blast, haha... She got to be warm and cozy in a ladybug costume while our friend held her the whole time.
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We also went to a Halloween party at my husband's job. Unfortunately the pictures of Quinn didn't turn out.
Then there was some more festive fun!
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...and a pic of Quinn Halloween day just because it makes me smile.
I love this season!
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We also went to a Halloween party at my husband's job. Unfortunately the pictures of Quinn didn't turn out.
Then there was some more festive fun!
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| He was a little grumpy here because he just wanted to go see Elmo. |
I love this season!
A Glimpse of Normalcy
Today was a wonderful day. I was full of energy, and plans, and capability. Today I got to feel like my old normal self. The self before lupus totally kicked my butt. Oh and yes, while talking about my totally awesome day I'll also be simultaneously having a pity party. I just wish that I could be who I used to be instead of who I am now. Most days I'm so exhausted I have to force myself to get things done, my joints hurt so much that every movement hurts... headaches, chest pain... and the list goes on and on. BUT today I got to be the real me and while it felt awesome it also made me really sad because I know it won't last. This is what I got done today. I felt like Superwoman!
- I got dressed and my make-up done while it was still morning!
- I got the kids dressed and Corben's teeth brushed and hair done while it was still morning.
- I got a meal plan and grocery list completed while I cooked and served Corben breakfast.
- I mopped, vacuumed, and dusted the house.
- I got the laundry done (including the cloth diaper laundry)
- I went grocery shopping.
- I picked up Subway for the husband and I.
- I made an AWESOME dinner (Blackened Chicken and Cilantro Lime Quinoa & Mediterranean Roasted Broccoli and Tomatoes) and Cinnamon Apple Crisps and Peanut Butter Cookies!
- I scheduled Quinn's 4 month checkup and an appointment for Corb.en (He keeps saying his knee hurts. I suspect it's just him saying it to say it, but want to play it safe).
- I killed FOUR freaky spiders. I should get a medal of some sort for that task alone.
- I fixed the whacked out toilet flush lever.
- Made kitchen cleaner from HERE-- such great recipes for homemade cleaners.
- All of this in between feeding, taking care of, and playing with the babies-- one of which was an incredibly cranky 4 month old. What was with her today?!
My Little Dude
C.orben,
Where do I start? I feel like you have grown so much lately, physically and developmentally. You are such a little boy now and continue to amaze me.
I love how in the mornings I get woken up to the sound of you singing songs over the monitor. Dancing and singing is your favorite thing to do right now and daddy and I are so amazed at how accurate you are at copying dances and songs. However, these days you don't think it's so cool when we try to dance with you. You yell, "No no mommy! Bye mommy!".
You continue to be head over heels in love with your sister. I feel like I've been too lucky in this regard and keep waiting for you to get jealous or resentful. You love to hug and kiss her. You try to feed her your food and like to help me burp her after she eats. You get so excited when she smiles or laughs at you and when she grabs on to your face.
You are completely potty trained and get so excited to tell us when you've gone potty. Sometimes you still get anxious about pooping in the potty and will pace around until we direct you to the bathroom. I know you'll get completely comfortable soon. Going potty is such a big step and can be a little intimidating.
You are talking more and more. I get just as excited each time you say a new word as I did when you said your first word. Last night we started working on the sentence "Thank you God for this day". Your pronunciation isn't 100% perfect, but I love that. I'm going to miss it when you don't talk like a little kid anymore. I'm really enjoying this stage that you're in.
You love to pray and it warms mine and daddy's heart so much. I hope that your passion for God grows and grows.
You love your room at our new house. You are still doing great in your toddler bed and we're going to get you a twin bed in a few weeks. I already bought your bedding and I can't wait to see everything together. I just know you're going to be so excited and so proud to have an official big boy room.
I love you so much baby boy (you'll always be my baby) and I'm so proud of your loving personality. You're such a good boy and I'm so excited about watching you grow and to see all you do in life.
Love,
Mommy
Where do I start? I feel like you have grown so much lately, physically and developmentally. You are such a little boy now and continue to amaze me.
I love how in the mornings I get woken up to the sound of you singing songs over the monitor. Dancing and singing is your favorite thing to do right now and daddy and I are so amazed at how accurate you are at copying dances and songs. However, these days you don't think it's so cool when we try to dance with you. You yell, "No no mommy! Bye mommy!".
You continue to be head over heels in love with your sister. I feel like I've been too lucky in this regard and keep waiting for you to get jealous or resentful. You love to hug and kiss her. You try to feed her your food and like to help me burp her after she eats. You get so excited when she smiles or laughs at you and when she grabs on to your face.
You are completely potty trained and get so excited to tell us when you've gone potty. Sometimes you still get anxious about pooping in the potty and will pace around until we direct you to the bathroom. I know you'll get completely comfortable soon. Going potty is such a big step and can be a little intimidating.
You are talking more and more. I get just as excited each time you say a new word as I did when you said your first word. Last night we started working on the sentence "Thank you God for this day". Your pronunciation isn't 100% perfect, but I love that. I'm going to miss it when you don't talk like a little kid anymore. I'm really enjoying this stage that you're in.
You love to pray and it warms mine and daddy's heart so much. I hope that your passion for God grows and grows.
You love your room at our new house. You are still doing great in your toddler bed and we're going to get you a twin bed in a few weeks. I already bought your bedding and I can't wait to see everything together. I just know you're going to be so excited and so proud to have an official big boy room.
I love you so much baby boy (you'll always be my baby) and I'm so proud of your loving personality. You're such a good boy and I'm so excited about watching you grow and to see all you do in life.
Love,
Mommy
Quinn- 4 Months Old
Quinn,
At 4 months old you are so much fun! You are this solid, chubby baby that loves to smile and is just so content.
You've been rolling over sporadically from front to back since 6 weeks old, but now you consistently roll over both directions. For awhile there you thought it was cute to holler in the middle of the night several times for me to come and roll you back over even though you could do it yourself. Now you think it's fun to shout for me to come put your paci back in at 2:30 every morning. Please feel free to move on from that my sweet girl. Mommy reallllly loves uninterrupted sleep.
You have really got into playing with the toys on your playmats and the mobile on your swing. It's really cute and occupies you for quite a long time.
You are madly in love with your brother, as he is with you, and you break out in a huge smile everytime you see him and let out loud laughs when he does funny things to entertain you. You are so tolerant when he loves on you a little too roughly or when he accidentally whacks you (he never sits still does he, baby girl).
Mine and Daddy's favorite thing is when we're holding you and you do whatever you can to be able to arch back and look up at us with those big doe eyes of yours. Heart melting!
You love to eat and when I can't get to you right away you get so mad. That's one time when I definitely realize that you do have a temper. Sometimes I have to get you calmed down so you'll actually eat. You've gotten so efficient at nursing and it makes feeding on the go so much easier. You've gone from taking 20 minutes to eat to 6-8 minutes! Luckily though you'll also take a bottle of pumped milk, which is good when I'm in the middle of cooking dinner and because your daddy like to feed you too.
We moved into our new house this month and now you have your own room. I'm having so much fun making plans for it and how to decorate. There's so much space for you to play and I'm excited to watch you grow and thrive here.
Above all else I really want you to know how loved you are. You are such a perfect addition to our family. You really are... I couldn't come up with another characteristic that I wish you had or something that I would change. I'm so blessed and so grateful that you're my daughter.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
Love,
Mommy
At 4 months old you are so much fun! You are this solid, chubby baby that loves to smile and is just so content.
You've been rolling over sporadically from front to back since 6 weeks old, but now you consistently roll over both directions. For awhile there you thought it was cute to holler in the middle of the night several times for me to come and roll you back over even though you could do it yourself. Now you think it's fun to shout for me to come put your paci back in at 2:30 every morning. Please feel free to move on from that my sweet girl. Mommy reallllly loves uninterrupted sleep.
You have really got into playing with the toys on your playmats and the mobile on your swing. It's really cute and occupies you for quite a long time.
You are madly in love with your brother, as he is with you, and you break out in a huge smile everytime you see him and let out loud laughs when he does funny things to entertain you. You are so tolerant when he loves on you a little too roughly or when he accidentally whacks you (he never sits still does he, baby girl).
Mine and Daddy's favorite thing is when we're holding you and you do whatever you can to be able to arch back and look up at us with those big doe eyes of yours. Heart melting!
You love to eat and when I can't get to you right away you get so mad. That's one time when I definitely realize that you do have a temper. Sometimes I have to get you calmed down so you'll actually eat. You've gotten so efficient at nursing and it makes feeding on the go so much easier. You've gone from taking 20 minutes to eat to 6-8 minutes! Luckily though you'll also take a bottle of pumped milk, which is good when I'm in the middle of cooking dinner and because your daddy like to feed you too.
We moved into our new house this month and now you have your own room. I'm having so much fun making plans for it and how to decorate. There's so much space for you to play and I'm excited to watch you grow and thrive here.
Above all else I really want you to know how loved you are. You are such a perfect addition to our family. You really are... I couldn't come up with another characteristic that I wish you had or something that I would change. I'm so blessed and so grateful that you're my daughter.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
Love,
Mommy
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| I love your chubbernubber thighs |
I'm still here!
I can't believe it has been so long since I have blogged! I hate that I have been slacking on my little virtual baby book. I missed posting on my boy turning TWO and now my little girl is three months old!!
I can't pinpoint the exact day, but at some point overnight Corb.en suddenly went from a squishy little baby to a little boy. He is so freaking cute too! He says and does the funniest things and I have to stop myself from hugging and kissing him every 2 seconds. Yesterday he kept jumping around saying "wee! wee!" He was so happy and such a little kid. I just wanted to be able to freeze that memory fresh and clear into my brain. He loves to play cars and even makes the little vroom sound when he plays with them and has started insisting on sleeping with his favorite car and truck. When he calls me mommy it sounds like he's saying "Mimmy" and I'm going to be so sad when he says it right. I love when he says "Oh Mimmy". He can sing parts of the songs to Sesame Street and Fresh Beat Band (that show is SO annoying and he loves it so much). He has developed a love for cake and even though he hasn't had any since his birthday he still asks for it frequently. Today as soon as he woke up from his nap he asked for a snack. I asked him what he wanted and he said "cake". I told him we didn't have any and he asked "(where did the) cake go?". Haha! He loves to read the book Hungry Caterpillar and on the page with all of the yummy food he pretends to eat the cupcake, icecream, and cake. I think he's going to have his daddy's sweet tooth. He is still fiercely in love with his sister and is always loving on her.
To sum up 2 year old C.orben so far I would say that he is generally such a sweet, loving, active, and fun little boy. He is also sensitive and gets his feelings hurt easily, but is also quick to anger as well. He has started throwing things and slamming his bedroom door when he's mad (umm hello teenage attitude already). I have no idea where he might have gotten that from ;).
For the stats: He's 32 lbs and I need to get his height. Daddy was with him during that point of his 2 year visit and forgot what the nurse said. He's potty training and while he's been ready for a big boy bed we're waiting on that until we move at the end of this month.
Oh my sweet baby girl! She is exactly that... sweet! She's my cuddler and loves to be snuggled and loved on. I just can't kiss her enough and her smile melts our heart. So far (knock, knock, knock) she's still a really easy baby and a great sleeper like her brother was. She's been sleeping through the night since a little past 2 months old. She's a cooer (did I make that word up?) and will coo for hours at a time. I love it! She's started with a little giggle and I am so looking forward to those belly laughs. She's not the biggest fan of the car seat, but it could be so much worse.
She's 13lbs and 23 inches. She has rolled over from front to back about 7 times now.
She LOVES to eat and her 3 month growth spurt about made me lose my mind. Luckily I have a freezer stash built up and was able to give her a bottle of pumped milk for the times when constant breast feeding didn't satisfy her.
Seriously though those few days were really tough. I was so stressed out trying to balance my time between my two kids. I felt so guilty not being able to take care of both of them at the same time and Quinn was being so fussy and needy and it seemed like nothing made her happy. She was so not herself. I can't describe how stressful that time was. At one point I had to leave the kids with my husband while I just drove around and cried. Being a Mom during the bad times, shoot even during the good times, is so hard and I always feel guilty. Although those smiles from Quinn and breathing in her sweet baby scent and those heart melting hugs and kisses from Corb.en make me feel so much better and remind me of what's important. The things that I think need to get done right away really don't. The problem is that I'm a perfectionist and I hate feeling like a failure. I need to learn that a good mom does not mean a perfect mom. There is no such thing as perfect. I think that Mom's are in such competition with each other and feel the need to maintain a certain image that they don't want to admit when things are hard or when they don't handle things perfectly. I don't want to be like that or feel that way.
I can't pinpoint the exact day, but at some point overnight Corb.en suddenly went from a squishy little baby to a little boy. He is so freaking cute too! He says and does the funniest things and I have to stop myself from hugging and kissing him every 2 seconds. Yesterday he kept jumping around saying "wee! wee!" He was so happy and such a little kid. I just wanted to be able to freeze that memory fresh and clear into my brain. He loves to play cars and even makes the little vroom sound when he plays with them and has started insisting on sleeping with his favorite car and truck. When he calls me mommy it sounds like he's saying "Mimmy" and I'm going to be so sad when he says it right. I love when he says "Oh Mimmy". He can sing parts of the songs to Sesame Street and Fresh Beat Band (that show is SO annoying and he loves it so much). He has developed a love for cake and even though he hasn't had any since his birthday he still asks for it frequently. Today as soon as he woke up from his nap he asked for a snack. I asked him what he wanted and he said "cake". I told him we didn't have any and he asked "(where did the) cake go?". Haha! He loves to read the book Hungry Caterpillar and on the page with all of the yummy food he pretends to eat the cupcake, icecream, and cake. I think he's going to have his daddy's sweet tooth. He is still fiercely in love with his sister and is always loving on her.
To sum up 2 year old C.orben so far I would say that he is generally such a sweet, loving, active, and fun little boy. He is also sensitive and gets his feelings hurt easily, but is also quick to anger as well. He has started throwing things and slamming his bedroom door when he's mad (umm hello teenage attitude already). I have no idea where he might have gotten that from ;).
For the stats: He's 32 lbs and I need to get his height. Daddy was with him during that point of his 2 year visit and forgot what the nurse said. He's potty training and while he's been ready for a big boy bed we're waiting on that until we move at the end of this month.
Oh my sweet baby girl! She is exactly that... sweet! She's my cuddler and loves to be snuggled and loved on. I just can't kiss her enough and her smile melts our heart. So far (knock, knock, knock) she's still a really easy baby and a great sleeper like her brother was. She's been sleeping through the night since a little past 2 months old. She's a cooer (did I make that word up?) and will coo for hours at a time. I love it! She's started with a little giggle and I am so looking forward to those belly laughs. She's not the biggest fan of the car seat, but it could be so much worse.
She's 13lbs and 23 inches. She has rolled over from front to back about 7 times now.
She LOVES to eat and her 3 month growth spurt about made me lose my mind. Luckily I have a freezer stash built up and was able to give her a bottle of pumped milk for the times when constant breast feeding didn't satisfy her.
Seriously though those few days were really tough. I was so stressed out trying to balance my time between my two kids. I felt so guilty not being able to take care of both of them at the same time and Quinn was being so fussy and needy and it seemed like nothing made her happy. She was so not herself. I can't describe how stressful that time was. At one point I had to leave the kids with my husband while I just drove around and cried. Being a Mom during the bad times, shoot even during the good times, is so hard and I always feel guilty. Although those smiles from Quinn and breathing in her sweet baby scent and those heart melting hugs and kisses from Corb.en make me feel so much better and remind me of what's important. The things that I think need to get done right away really don't. The problem is that I'm a perfectionist and I hate feeling like a failure. I need to learn that a good mom does not mean a perfect mom. There is no such thing as perfect. I think that Mom's are in such competition with each other and feel the need to maintain a certain image that they don't want to admit when things are hard or when they don't handle things perfectly. I don't want to be like that or feel that way.
Adorableness {BIG photo dump}
I love my babies!
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| His "cheese" face |
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| He loves to read his sister stories. |
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| He insisted on wearing his hat to breakfast. |
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| I love her smiles. |
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| Happy girl! |
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| I love these two so much. |
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