Decisions, decisions, decisions

I just got a call from my OB/GYN's office. The good news is that I can take more fiorecet than I thought I could and once I get the headaches under control they are going to be much easier to manage. The bad news, well not so much bad news, but the tough news is that I have some big decisions to make, which is not fun for me because I'm a libra and making big decisions makes me very nervous.

So here's everything that was discussed and I'm warning you that it's probably going to come out as a big rambling mess because I just found all of this out and I'm still trying to process it myself. The nurse was calling me back with some questions that I had for my doctor. First off... I was unclear on how long I actually need to take Lupron for, how long it would take me to get my cycle back, and how soon I could start trying to get pregnant. My doctor said that ideally Lupron is taken for 6 months, but she knows that I don't want to take it for that long, so she wants me to do it for possibly 3 months. She has me on the month-to-month injection so that she can monitor my symptoms and I can decide when I want to stop. I'm really hoping to not do it any longer than 2 months. From what I've read the longer you take it the longer it takes for your cycle to come back. I really just want a baby right now and having to wait even 2 months to try is just tortuous. I know it's necessary, but it's seriously so difficult. She said that after my last Lupron injection it stays in my system for 30 days and then after that it would probably take 4-6 weeks for my cycle to come back and at that time I could start Clomid and trying to get pregnant. I had no idea it was going to take this long!

Here's the kicker, in 10 days I'm suppose to have surgery (laparoscopic nissen fundoplication) on a hiatal hernia I have. It's done laparoscopically, but it's still a major surgery. My doctor is concerned that if I got pregnant right after this surgery that I could tear the hernia repair, which is dangerous and would require a second, more difficult surgery. She says that there is a 50% chance I would ruin the repair and that she won't prescribe Clomid until 3 months has passed since my hernia repair. I don't know what to do! Getting pregnant is the most important thing to me right now. I think and dream about it constantly. My symptoms with the hernia are bad and certainly annoying. I'm sick of taking Nexium and other meds like it with out complete relief and I know that getting pregnant will make my heartburn worse, but I'm not so completely miserable to the point that I think "I HAVE to have this surgery right now". I have my pre-op appointment on the 13th and Jonathan and I are going to talk to my surgeon and see what he says about how bad off I really am and if I can wait for the surgery. On another point, with the Lupron and waiting for my cycle to return I wouldn't be waiting that much longer. Ugghhh, I just don't know what to do. Is it even safe for me to have this surgery if I plan on becoming pregnant at any point? I don't want just one baby.

Another thing I was given to think about is being seen at a specialty clinic. My doctor says that this place specializes in treating women with endometriosis and could offer me more treatment options that she can as a general OB/GYN. I really like my doctor, she is very intellegent, very good, and really lets me maintain the control in my healthcare. I'm sure we have all been to those doctors that are so cocky and don't want to listen to you or let you have any say in what is happening to your body. She's not like that at all and is so beautiful and soothing. Plus I question what more this other clinic could really do for me. The hubster and I need to really think about it, give it up to God and see what path He wants us to take, and we need to research this clinic and see what they're all about. Ugh, decisions, decisions, decisions. I'm just going to keep my thoughts firmly planted on the little baby I've created in my imagination. It makes everything seem so worth it.