19 Weeks

 I'm feeling pretty good lately, just the usual fatigue. I often think back on my all-afternoon naps that I took when I was pregnant with C.orben. Those were amazing! Luckily though I've had a few bursts of energy and actually did a little cleaning and laundry this week. I also managed a trip to the store to get some new maternity skinny jeans. I wasn't able to find exactly what I was looking for, but I think I'll be happy with my purchase. I must say I think my butt looks amazing in them, haha. Hopefully the energy sticks around because I signed C up for a weekly story time at the library that you actually have to register for because they only have a certain amount of spots available. I also joined a mom meetup group and have committed to some activities. 

I'm only up  4 lbs so far, although my wedding ring is getting tight :(.   I'm so happy because by this point with C I was up freaking 20 lbs! Yes, you will hear a pregnancy long comparison of my weight gain because I'm determined to do better this time. It was hard getting 50 lbs off.

I have been having a lot of anxiety though. I often wake up in the morning with panic attacks. With both this pregnancy and the last I have an anterior placenta. It never impacted my pregnancy with C though and I started feeling flutters at 13 weeks and full on, all day, kicks on the outside by 18 weeks. With Quinn I started feeling flutters at 13 weeks as well, and since then I've felt a few rolls and stronger movement, but it's honestly been awhile since I've felt anything more than flutters. These days I usually only feel the flutters a few times a day. I know it's because of my anterior placenta because I only feel her on the sides and way down low... basically anywhere where my placenta is not. During every ultrasound they always comment on how active she is and I always hear a strong, fast heartbeat on my doppler at home. That doesn't stop me from worrying though. Losing my last baby really did a number on me. My mind runs with thoughts that something must be wrong with Quinn and that things aren't going to end well. I just really want to feel regular, strong movement for my own peace of mind. Deep breath. It will come, I just need to remain prayerful and patient.

In news from Battle of the Middle Name, we have picked a name! I think taking the advice to pray on it really helped us come up with it. I'll announce it after a few days when I'm sure the husband isn't going to change his mind... again.

* I know I said that I probably wasn't going to keep doing this updates every week; I don't want to bore everyone. I think I'm going to do at least a picture and a little update weekly. I really enjoyed documenting everything with Cor.ben and having the ability to go back and read details of my pregnancy with him.