The Final Countdown

I'm so full of emotion right now and I don't even know if I'll be able to articulate what I'm feeling and if I can do it in a way that will make sense.

2 days.

2 days until my second child is born.

I feel the emotion welling and increasing inside of me and in still moments I have to fight not to cry. I'm trying to fill every moment with getting things done, so I can't think. Tomorrow morning is my last NST and then I need to clean my bathrooms and make sure all of the last minute details are taken care of. Tuesday is my last doctor's appointment and also when I find out if I'll be admitted to the hospital that night or the next morning. Wednesday my daughter will be born. Whewwwwww.

I'm so anxious to meet Quinn. I can't wait to hold her, kiss her, and tell her how happy I am that she's here. I'm also worried that Cor.ben's feelings will be hurt or that he'll feel replaced. I want to make sure that he knows that I love him still so very very much. I worry about the exhaustion that is to come and I hope that it won't keep me from being a good mother, a patient mother, to both of my children. I worry about not being the same kind of mother to two kids that I am to Co.rben now. Am I equipped to be a mother of two? Have I made a poor decision? I hope that it is a smooth transition. 

Then of course I worry about the birth. I'm scared. I've already talked about the importance of a VBAC to me, so I won't go there again. I just hope I get to experience everything that my heart desires. I hope everything goes well and that Quinn is healthy. I imagine myself walking through the doors of L&D and I just hope I can hold it together and not turn into an embarrassing, blubbering mess. I am also so sad about being away from C.orben. I don't want to be away from him. I'm worrying about every single aspect of this.

2 days. Wow.